Okay, already

I officially give up.

Winter wins. I've thrown in the towel.

The pup is not, as you may have thought, lying down. Oh, no, friendly readers; she is trying to walk through yesterday's snow.

This is the second major dumping of the white stuff in as many weeks.

I'm done. If I were a groundhog, shadows wouldn't mean a damn and I'd hibernate 'til May.

I'd wave a white flag but - say it with me - who'd see it?

'Scuse me while I put in my teeth

Yes, it's a fish in a bucket.

No reason.

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You know what I hate? I hate realising that something happened twenty years ago, and that I can't say twenty years ago... before I was born.

I can't even say twenty years ago... when I was too young to remember.

When I started at my current place of employment I was fresh out of university and by far the youngest person on staff. Now I work with people who were born at the same time that I was in high school.

When the hell did that happen, exactly?

The weird thing is that I don't generally feel "old" (come to it, I don't think I qualify as old. Well, I might have in the middle ages or something, but nowadays? Not so much) until I have one of those twenty-years-ago moments. That's when my brain starts doing things like considering the benefits of motorised scooters or those adjustable beds you see on the infomercials.

Ok, maybe not quite that bad. I do, however, think that the walk-in bathtubs are kind of neat...






Sorry. Where was I?

Things are sort of conspiring against me in the ooooold department lately. There are a few things going on -- most of which you will NOT be hearing about -- but one that can be made public is that my alma mater is celebrating its 100th anniversary.

And for those at the centre of the universe who might be laughing at the fact that the U of A is "only" 100 years old, say it with me now: Shut up. 100 years is pretty good when the province itself is only a few years older.

Now, of course I wasn't around when the school got started (just thought I'd clear that one up right away). Reading the centenary celebration schedule and the history articles in the alumni magazine, though, can't help but make a person think of her own time at the university. Yeah, I've been on a bit of a nostalgia kick, more or less. I loved university. I loved almost everything about it (except calculus. What does a zoology student need to study calculus for anyway?). I had a great time, and not in the can't-remember-what-I-did-the-night-before way.

And then I realise how long ago that great time was.

*insert suitable vulgarity here*

Ah well. There's not a whole lot whinging about it can change... although it obviously hasn't stopped me from whinging anyway. As the saying goes, every single person on this planet is closer to death than to birth.

Until someone invents a time machine.





With my luck, I won't be able to remember anything by then so I won't care anyway. Later, all.

Bruiser

Is it wrong that I just spent several minutes trying to implant a series of bad Seventies pop tunes into Wheat's brain just before he heads off for a meeting?

I don't think it is.

He needs to get used to having me back in the office somehow.

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I made a tally of my current bruises as I was getting dressed this morning. Highlights include the shoulder thing I told you of a couple of posts ago, the deep one that's finally made its appearance (I whacked myself in the leg with the ice scraper a couple of days ago. No, not on purpose), a couple of minor spots on my arms that I'm pretty sure I know the reason for, and a half dozen others in various places that I have no idea about.

Read this either as I'm a walking accident or I tend to bruise easily.

Both have their moments of being true, but it's usually more the second than the first.

No, really.

No sniggering from the Toronto office. You've been warned.

I've always been a bit of a bruiser, and it doesn't help matters that I have fairly light-toned skin. Every little bruise shows up like a neon advertisement when you have skin like that, and it doesn't take much of a bump to give me even a little bruise.

I guess I'm a tad leaky.

A few years ago I went through a slight medical misadventure (don't worry, I'm not going to tell that story again) which required IVs on different days and a few blood tests. For part of that time I was at a smaller hospital where the x-ray technician doubled as a phlebotomist when needed. When I first came to that particular hospital, she was the one to draw my blood. She noticed I had a pretty nasty bruise from the last hospital's blood test, made a little joke about untidy vampires, and used my other arm instead. It took a couple of tries because one vein decided to tap out (what can I say? I'd had a really fun week), but overall things went ok.

Fast forward a few days and find me sitting in a hopsital gown and socks (my feet were cold), waiting to have some x-rays taken. The tech was the same one who'd done the blood test earlier, and when she got a look at my arms the poor girl was absolutely horrified to see the massive bruises that had developed. She was all over herself apologising even though I tried to explain that they didn't hurt and that I was just a natural bruiser.

I have to admit I was pretty colourful at the time, though. Bruises from blood tests, bruises on my hands from the IVs... I probably looked a little scary.

Hell, I probably look a little scary now, but I can't help genetics.




And shut up, world.

Anyway. None of this blather has any point to it (see: blog title) and I really should get back to work.

Work, yes. There will be actual work happening today.

No, really.




Didn't I already tell you to shut up?

Fire... wood

Or fire Wheat, is what I was really thinking. SOMEbody is a baaad t.v. club member and missed last night's episode.

I mean, seriously. Do I really have to hold your collective hand, people?

Ok, fine. New episode TOMORROW. Tuesday, that is. No excuses.

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I came in to work today after a week off because of the COLD. Did I mention the COLD? Well, it was COLD.

The problem is that I've physically made it to the building but it seems that my brain didn't come along. Or maybe it did, but not in a way I would have preferred it to. You see, I went to bed at a decent time last night after informing my brain that, as long as it was warm enough for me to start the car without being in actual physical pain from going outside (Note: in reality it turned into a "just barely" this morning), I was planning to make it to work today. My brain apparently took this to mean HOORAY! WE'RE STAYING UP ALLLLL NIGHT!!!

Stupid brain, anyway. Who'd have one?

So, after sitting around for a while playing with the sudoku machine that Santa gave me (or was that Satan? It keeps me entertained when I can't sleep, but sometimes I wonder if I wouldn't have more chance of being asleep if I wasn't entertained), I did manage to get a few hours of snooze in.

Not enough to make for a working brain, I guess, but it's a start.

Now if I could only figure out a way to make my non-working brain start the work that I'm meant to be doing at the moment, things would be fiiine.

It ain't gonna happen -- at least not today -- but getting to the building is a start. Tomorrow, perhaps, I'll manage to work my way up to functional.

Or at least semi-functional.




And before I leave off, I just wanted to say that no furniture has been harmed by any of my body parts yet today, or vice versa. The day is still young, I know, but at least there's a little bit of hope.

I really have nothing, you know

Yep.

I've been catching up on a week's worth of internet crap (and am thankful I won't be able to access my work e-mail until tomorrow), and it hasn't left me much for bloggable thoughts.

It also hasn't left me much desire to get an internet hook-up at home. Seriously. A week's worth of being away from the computer, and it seems that I didn't miss much of anything except a regular reliable weather report.

Incidentally, the weather network may say it's Canada's most reliable source for the weather, but in our area at least it mostly seems to be Canada's most reliable source for fiction.

It's interesting that, when it's available to me, I can spend hours at a time on the 'net... but if I have to be away I don't really notice any DTs as a result.

Guess I'm not an addict after all.

Oh, but I missed my two fans, of course. Desperately.






Anyone out there buying the last bit?

Ok, so I do miss the blatherage outlet somewhat, but really? Given the choice between the daily blather and a really good book, I'd probably still choose the book.

Old habits die hard, as they say.

See you tomorrow (speaking of old habits...).

So, the nice thing about a t-back bra is...

Oh, before I get into that, I should say that today's photo features my nephew.

He's the one on the left.

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So, the nice thing about a t-back bra is that the shoulder strap tends to sit closer to your neck than the strap on the average bra does. This is important when one is trying to avoid putting anything directly on top of the large-ish purple welt on one's right shoulder.

It's the little things in life than make you truly grateful, you know.






Erm... you wanted to hear more about the large-ish purple welt on my right shoulder? Ok, since you asked. Let's just note that if you find yourself for any reason falling through the air after, say, tripping over your own feet, it's probably best not to break that fall with a secretary-style desk to the shoulder.

'Nuff said?

Yeah, I thought so.

Shall we now add up my wtf total for these past two weeks? May as well, really. Start with one cold that developed into an ear infection, factor in a buggered-up neck that made it impossible to move for a couple of days, add five days of not leaving the apartment at all because it was MINUS COLDER THAN HELL OUTSIDE, and finish up with a little furniture slam-dancing.

It's a wonder they let me out on the roads today, when you think of it.

Of course, they didn't actually know that they were letting a complete disaster out on the roads.

That might have been one reason that I was let out on the roads, actually.

Anyway. Sorry I'm not more exciting after nearly a week off. Really, though. What can you expect from someone who's been living the life of a particularly ill-starred hermit for days on end? Maybe I'll try harder to be entertaining tomorrow.

I'm going now. T-back bra or not, my shoulder hurts.

The photo that might have been

This would have been a lovely picture of a male Cardinal alighting - you know, had the lens been able to figure out it should focus on the bird rather than the snow on the screen and window through which this was shot.

The weather channel got it right, as you can see.

I guess some *cough*Alberta*office* would toss snowballs in my direction but it IS pretty out there today.

Why she would throw things at me, of course, may be due to the fact it is still minus 27 where she lives, works and plays. I'm guessing the fact that Alberta has been in a deep deep-freeze for daaaaays can make a person a tad cranky. I can say without hesitation that the lack of sunlight is doing a fair job on yours truly also.

But ... there are still the birds to watch, the dogs to play with as they lose their minds in snow drifts, playing hard enough that even the coldest of the cold crack a smile.

Good grief. I must be aging. Isn't finding an up side to all things a sign of getting older? Shut up. I did not say "old".



Now where did I leave the zimmer ....