Quick me update

 Kind of doomed myself to a week of being too busy to blog by saying in my last post down there that I might have time to blog, didn't I? Ah well, just enjoy these pointless photos of saskatoon leaves with raindrops on them while I talk medical at you for a while, then.

Yep, medical. I don't do it very often, so I think you can put up with it for a few paragraphs.

 The reason that I wasn't around to blog this past weekend or yesterday was that I was erm..., busy doesn't seem like the right word, but I guess I'll go with it... preparing for the next step in the Journey of the Exploded Gut. For those new to the program, I'll give you the brief summary. Last November I went to Emergency with abdominal pain only to wind up in surgery because a diverticulum that I didn't know I had ruptured. Hmm. That really is the short version, isn't it? Doesn't exactly go into the whole finding myself in the ICU with a tube down my trachea because I didn't wake up well from the anaesthesia or spending a week in hospital trying to get used to caring for my brand new pet stoma.

Look up stoma on your own if you don't know what I'm talking about. This isn't meant to be a post about the wonders of ostomy surgery. Even though it is a wonder, actually. Without it there likely wouldn't be a me anymore.

Anyway.

Yesterday? Yesterday was the official Dee Has Her First Ever Colonoscopy day.

Woo hoo.

For those of you who haven't hit 50 yet and haven't gone through it (and if you have hit 50 and haven't gone through it, you're an idiot who's effing around with his/her health for no reason), the procedure itself is no big deal. My Dad was nice enough to come into the city to drop me off and pick me up, I was called in almost immediately once I checked in, the drugs didn't hit me hard enough to make me completely out of it (or car sick -- we had a bucket on standby because my history with cars after sedation isn't a great one), and the whole scoping was done in less than twenty minutes. Bear in mind that it included two different entry points, since the doctor had to go in both through the stoma to check the colon and also through the back passage (gotta love euphemisms sometimes) to check the rectal stump. Twenty minutes was pretty quick.

Rectal stump, by the way, is one of my least favourite phrases in the English language now.

Yeah, the procedure was fine. The prep? That was interesting. Again, for those who haven't experienced it, you get the pleasure of not only living on a clear fluid diet for a day, but also paying somewhere in the range of thirty dollars for a jug containing a handy little powder known as polyethelyne glycol 3350. When you look THAT one up (that's right. I'm not doing any linky work for you today) bear in mind that most of the websites describe its use as a laxative for occasional constipation. For a colonoscopy you use it to completely clean yourself out. You drink a lot of it fast, and then a little while afterwards you start gushing. Literally gushing, And I can tell you that first hand, because being on an ostomy pouch I got to watch it happen.

I've finally found a reason to be thankful for the pouch.

Instead of being tied to the bathroom for an afternoon, I just had to empty my pouch as it filled. Meant that I could actually do other things on Sunday, which was nice. I should make it clear, by the way, that the cleaning yourself out part was the worse part of the whole experience, and even that wasn't bad. The gastrointestinal lavage, as it's officially called, doesn't cause cramping or anything. You just have to be prepared to inhabit the john for a while, that's all.

In other words, if your doctor tells you to get a colonoscopy done, just effing do it. It's no big deal.

Really.





Oh, so I suppose you want to hear the results. No polyps, no biopsies, a little minor swelling in the rectal stump, and otherwise a clear bowel. Yay me. Next step? An appointment with the doctor to discuss reversal surgery. Can't say that I'm looking forward to more surgery, but as handy as the pouch was for the colonoscopy prep I can't say that I'd miss it if it went away.

I'll keep you posted.



We're done talking about my colon now. You're welcome.

And so much for quick.