Fifty things on my mind

For those new to the program, occasionally when I haven't nailed down a blather topic and don't feel like just posting I've got nothing, I'll do a fifty list.

Fifty what, exactly?

I don't know. Whatever comes out. Can't say I ever have it planned before I start typing. Sometimes I'll give myself a vague subject, but today I'm just going with the first thing that comes into my head. And then the second thing. And then the third thing.

Well, I suppose that you'd figured that out already. I guess I should start, then.

Any time, Dee.

Ok, here goes. Fifty things on my mind. And I hope that there really are fifty things on my mind...

1. This computer is sooo sloow.
2. I hate that I'm stopping in at work on my way home just to prepare for a stupidly early booking tomorrow.
3. Is it wrong that I'm in my forties but I still love that my flash drive is shaped like a crocodile?
4. I like cats.
5. I'm allergic to cats. The universe sniggers.
6. I originally typed carts instead of cats. Should have left it and kept my two fans wondering what kind of carts I liked. Or that I'm allergic to.
7. Should I have turkey for lunch again, or should I save it for the rest of the week?
8. I'm currently rather glad that I don't live in Calgary, what with the power outage. Actually, I'm generally glad that I don't live in Calgary.
9. Kinda hate this bra.
10. I don't hear any pounding upstairs. The kittens must be asleep.
11. Are fish ever more than decor? I mean, can a person have feelings for a fish? I certainly don't.
12. Would really like to get Surfin' Bird out of my head this morning. Here, why don't you have it instead?
13. Ok, that video was stupidly awesome.
14. Should I have turkey for supper tonight, or pizza? Probably pizza. Gotta avoid turkey fatigue.
15. Maybe I should make my own pizza. That'd be good.
16. I hope the highway isn't too busy. I'm not feeling too creative with my swear words today.
17. Yeah, I swear in the car. Harmless, except when I have a passenger. Then it's embarrassing or funny, depending who's along.
18. Email or e-mail? Email when texting, I think, but e-mail when you're being formal.
19. I can't believe that's an issue in my life.
20. In my life. That could be an earworm for a while.
21. I think that my brain radio is stuck in the sixties today. I'm ok with that.
22. Should I be paid for always keeping the work twitter feed on in the background on Dad's computer? Nah, I don't mind.
23. It's weird that we do so much of our work with twitter, though. I may have mentioned that once or twice.
24. I've probably mentioned most things once or twice or twenty times. Gotta love/loathe long-time blogging.
25. Twenty-five. Half way there! Sigh, only half way there. Keep draining the brain, Dee.
26. Is it odd that I've come to think of myself as Dee a lot of the time now, rather than by my actual name (which, of course, is Dimenhydrinate). I mean, people used to call me Dee in university, but should I be thinking of myself that way?
27. How many of you just looked up dimenhydrinate? Of course that's not my name. It's really Diatomite.
28. Did you seriously just look that up too?
29. I like traffic lights. It's an incredibly stupid Monty Python song, and it's how I can often get rid of earworms. Not linking to this one; you can find it yourselves.
30. I once read a Stephen Fry book that was entirely devoid of semicolons. He used commas for everything. Everything. Drove me frigging nuts.
31. I'm told that's more of a putt than a drive.
32. I don't consider myself a grammar granny, but the misuse of unique bugs the crap out of me. Loose instead of lose comes a close second. Learn your language, people.
33. I haven't been updating my reading shelf on the sidebar lately, but I recently reread A Shropshire Lad. Here it is through Project Gutenberg, and worth a look if you're not familiar. One of my all-time favourites. Apparent simplicity that hides a lot of skill and thought. My favourite poem? Probably Terence, this is stupid stuff... I used to be able to recite it from memory, but it fell out of my head at some point.
34. Just read the introduction supplied with that Gutenberg edition. Man, was that flowery horsecrap. And I hate when academic writers use One instead of You. French has On, yes, but using One in English is just pretentious.
35. In real life I would have said horseshit instead of horsecrap. I have juuust enough of a linguistics background (yeah, I did take some linguistics in university. Doesn't everyone with a zoology degree?) to be dangerous in my thoughts about language usage. Swearwords only are offensive if you let yourself be offended by them, really.
36. And if that last has you wondering, I try to keep it less blue here on the blog because I know that my two fans come from many different backgrounds and likely don't agree with all of my language opinions.
37. My two fans, by the way, is a joke to and for me. I know that I have more than two fans. Three, even.
38. I still don't hear any thumping upstairs. That's kind of suspicious.
39. Why is it that so often when I type the it comes out teh?
40. I should have lunch. But there's still ten to go...
41. Still enjoying my rolling ring, if anyone wondered. It feels weird to have it on today, though. I don't usually bother with jewellery at Dad's place.
42. And now we've reached the answer to life, the universe, and everything.
43. Back to language for a second. Do you use the Oxford comma like I did above? Look it up if you don't know. I'm done linking.
44. Ebola. Yes, it's very serious. But why are so many North Americans worrying about ebola and then not bothering to get a flu shot? The "plain old" flu kills way more people here.
45. And don't get me started on the anti-vaccination crowd. I'll just say read some science, people, and leave it at that.
46. I hate it when I find typos in old posts. I'll probably find some here tomorrow, but I don't have much time to proof today.
47. My wrist is starting to hurt. Just a few more, wrist.
48. There was a thump. Sounds like a Dad thump rather than a cat thump though.
49. I'm going to change this list thing to twenty things instead of fifty, I think.
50. Maybe my name is really Dysmorphia? No, that doesn't seem right.

Aaand... done. Does it make sense? Don't know, don't care, not rereading until tomorrow. Happy lunch, everyone.



Would that be Canadian lunch or American lunch, I wonder?

The yearly rant

Clearly, the Turkey Brothers have learned how to not help with the laundry.

Tom has also learned the term GET DOWN. Or at least the tone of voice. I suspect he may have had a little help from the smack fairy... oh, wait. Some of you won't get the reference, and if you don't it sounds more abusive than I mean it to. Gimme a second...

Ok, here we go. British sketch comedy as usual.

Anyway, the boys are still doing well, and are little shits kittens. Hard to believe at this point that they'll ever settle down, but I know that they will. They're frustrating, sweet, and entertaining as hell. In other words, yeah, they're kittens.

They've also already learned that hearing the fridge door open at certain times may mean a good chance of getting meat scraps (gee, I wonder who taught them that? It definitely wasn't me). It's kind of funny, because back when my Dad was still teaching the old cats knew that if they showed up in the kitchen when he was making his sandwich to take for lunch, they'd likely get a treat. Kind of early for these two to have formed the habit, but it's there now so I can't do much about it. Which brings me to the yearly rant.

Oh, and sorry if this comes off as crabby. I'm not really, but this computer's getting old enough that it's sometimes faster to post things to the internet by using a stone tablet. As well, I forgot my wrist tensor at home, so I'm dealing with an annoyingly achy joint. Ought to be fun when I try to do the art thing in a few minutes. Having said that, then, here's the subject suggested by the cats' new-found love of turkey (we had our supper yesterday) and the usual internet greetings I've been noticing pretty much everywhere:

Don't say Canadian Thanksgiving, Canadian bloggers/tweeters/whateverelsers. For pity's sake. This time of year I see it everywhere. Happy Canadian Thanksgiving, everyone! I mean, it's one thing if someone from an American site says it, because they're clarifying it for their readers. But when known Canadian internet personalities insist on adding Canadian to Thanksgiving, it's more than clarification. It's apologising. And while it's cliché that we're known for apologising, in this case it's just annoying. It's see, Americans? We have one too. Never mind that our first Thanksgiving was actually before the Pilgrims. Never mind that if you're a Canadian and people know that you're Canadian, the Americans will probably figure out that you're talking about a Canadian holiday when you say Thanksgiving a month earlier than they're expecting it. Saying Happy Canadian Thanksgiving when you just mean Thanksgiving is like putting up your hand timidly in the back of the room to ask the American commercial giant if it's ok to have a different Thanksgiving than the one that they advertise.

Yeah, it annoys me a little. And it is so cliché Canadian that it kind of makes me want to headdesk whenever I see it. I know you all mean well, but can't we just own our own holidays for once? After all, we're allowed to spell colour with a u around here. We can have different stats as well, right?

Um, that would be short for Statuary Holiday. Government-mandated days off with pay, where you usually get time and a half if you have to work them. It's a Canadian thing.

Kind of like Thanksgiving.



Happy American Columbus Day, everyone.

Pointless photo of the day:

That's all for today. I'm too tired to make sense.

Or even nonsense.

Turkey Brothers Update

 Today's pointless cat photos are actually comparison shots so you can see how the Turkey Brothers are growing. For the first versions, check here, here, and here.

Yep, the brothers are getting bigger, and definitely more active. Bob's the mellower of the two, and is much less likely to use a person's legs as a ladder. He'll sit beside you or on your lap, but he's not especially thrilled to be picked up. He'll put up with it all right; it's just not his favourite thing in the world

Tom... ah, Tom. Dad should have named him Edmund Hillary. He's a climber. I have a picture of him from a few weeks ago that I never posted, happily sitting on top of the rocking chair after climbing the upholstery. Dad's since taken the cushions off the chair. They would have been totally destroyed otherwise. Tom loves to climb. Chairs, bedskirts, legs... and the problem with the leg thing is that he'll take a running leap at you and catch you half way up. He gets a certain look in his eye, and you know you just can't do a thing about what's going to happen next. He got me good in the knee the other night. That's fun. Or, you know, not.

 Now, having said that, he's also the cuddlier of the two. He loves being held, and he'll tell you that he'd like to be picked up. And you'd better listen, because otherwise you're going to be climbed (see last paragraph).

They both still really seek out people, and I'm hoping that doesn't change as they get older.

Tom's still very much the ringleader. First to the food, first to the toys, and first to get into trouble. He recently figured out that he can use the dining room chairs to get on to the table, and from there he can get to the kitchen counter. Apparently he got a fairly decisive warning about that, but I'm sure it's not the last one. Dad had told me that Bob recently figured out how to unravel the toilet roll, but after having seen Tom doing the exact same thing myself, I'd be willing to bet that it was Tom who taught Bob.

I'm getting the feeling that these guys will end up being long haired, or at least medium. They both have weirdly long hair on their haunches. It'd be kind of funny if the back hair stayed long and they turned out to be short haired otherwise. Cat mullet.

Bob's coat is a bit coarser and thicker than Tom's. It almost seems like a double coat already. Maybe he'll turn into a pretend Norwegian Forest Cat or something. That'd be all right.

Anyway, there's your cats for today. I actually took a handful of yard pictures this weekend, so it won't be all cats all the time here for a while. Ok, so there'll be some cats.

What's the internet without cats?



Porn, I guess.

Girly

That's about the size of things out there, folks. Nights are getting cold, green is starting to disappear, and I'm getting cranky.

Oh no, wait. I'm always cranky.

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I was reading one of those what to put in your make-up bag things this morning. Why, I'm not sure. I've never been a particularly girly girl (my barbies were always in various states of plastic fracture because they did stunts rather than hanging around the pool). Not a tomboy in the slightest, mind you; I just don't understand the ultrafeminine attitude. It doesn't make sense to me. It's also not practical at all. Still, I read those Cosmoesque internet articles. Maybe to try to get it, or more likely to annoy myself. Today? Three things you ABSOLUTELY MUST HAVE in your kit if you couldn't have anything else.

Their verdict? A BB-style foundation (they gave a brand name for each thing on the list. I'm not going to bother repeating them), a red lipstick, and a mascara.

Seriously? Whatever, ladies.

Ok, a couple of caveats before I go on with my opinion. First, I've been known to go out without make-up. I know, right? Shock, horror, and how the hell could anyone stand to look at me? Second, I have a decidedly non-girly job. If I came to the nature centre in fashion plate make-up everyone would wonder what paint store I'd been hit by. Oh, and third since I'm apparently counting "a couple" in Monty Python style, if you're an aficionado of the smokey eye I promise you that I'll be looking at you wondering why you're imitating a raccoon.

Understood? Then let's begin.

First the BB creme (HATE the whole cute BB name trend, but whatever). Yeah, I'm ok with that. In fact, on work days I use a BB creme, although certainly not the high-end one the article recommends. Who wants to spend that much on a foundation when you could buy, say, food?

Next, the lipstick. A lip colour is important if you're a make-up person and you're carrying a small bag, I suppose, but bright red is decidedly not appropriate for every situation. Sometimes it just makes you look tarty. I'll give them the lipstick, but only if it's something a lot subtler.

And now, the mascara. No. Mascara is not a necessity. It's a pain in the arse is what it is. And yes, I've worn mascara. I used to wear it frequently as a teenager, and it was usually neon blue. Gotta love the eighties. Anyway, I gave up mascara when I went to university, and I've maybe used it twice since. Regretted it every time. When I used to wear contacts it just irritated my eyes, and once I switched to only glasses I constantly felt my artificially-hardened lashes brushing the lenses.

Yeah, I have fairly long lashes. And fairly dark ones, so I don't suppose I have a need of mascara in everyday life. Gee, do you suppose that might have biased me in some way?...

Mascara's still a pain, though. And so many mascara-using people wear it so badly. Too heavy, too clumpy, too stupid-looking. It's the girl's version  of clown college, as far as I'm concerned.

So what would I suggest instead? Oh yes, I have a suggestion. Eyeliner, but not black. Black is too harsh. The one I use most often is sort of purple-ish (the theory being, according to the experts, that it might bring out some of the green in my blue-green eyes), and here at Dad's I use a double-ended thing that has a brown liner on one end and a highlighter on the other end. That's when I wear make-up here, of course. I don't always, because it's the weekend and I'm not really going anywhere. If I do, it's just the liner and a bit of powder to knock the shine off.

Get a feeling that the cosmetics industry's advertising juggernaut never quite ran over me?

Anyway, lunch time for me now. And maybe a little less girly reading. Otherwise, the next post will turn out to be something like What is it with you people and stupid shoes?





I never have got the shoe thing either. Do you suppose that maybe I'm not a girl?

Not a cat photo of the day:

 I just thought that we needed a a break. So here's an apple tree instead of a cat photo.





Oh, all right. One cat photo.

What is is with cats and cardboard, anyway? I mean, this one doesn't even qualify as a box.



The cardboard, that is. Although the cat also doesn't qualify as a box.



Last I checked, anyway.

Cat fight...

 Ok, so more like cat wrestling. Boys will be boys, after all.

This needs to be a quick post since I'm kind of busy, but I thought I may as well give you two pictures today so that you can see them doing things besides fighting.

Um, does sleeping count as doing things?