This oughta be good.
For those new to the program, I'm as weird about my "art" as I am about... well, most things, I suppose. First of all, you'll notice the quotes around art. I'm not an artist; I'm a dabbler. I doodle. And for any of you out there who get their backs up about that word doodle, I'd just like to say stuff it. I like the word, and it's a good reflection of the fact that I don't take what I do seriously. Seriously takes the fun out of it. I got serious about music for a while, for example, and now the only music I do is singing to myself. Music's still there and always will be, but it would take a pretty swift kick in the backside to get me to be more public about it again.
As far as art goes, until I had to start drawing for myself for work (non-profits don't generally have illustration budgets) no one really knew that I even did it. It was just doodles. It still is, mostly, and that's how I have to keep it in my mind even if some of my stuff has been shown in public and a bit's even been published.
Weirdly, I even furnished the title page picture for a conference on hibernation a while back. It's very odd what contacts the internet will bring you.
Anything else and things stop being fun. And then, if you're me, things stop. Full stop. I just get way too self-conscious about the whole matter. That, plus I start feeling the need to make pieces "right" or "perfect" and that... that's just too much pressure for what should just be a bunch of doodles.
So why is it exactly that I'm considering doing something involving a technique that I've never done before, a display method that I've never used before, and poems that I'm not sure I want the public to see? Sounds like a recipe for a full-on neurotic breakdown if you ask me.
Well, the fact of the matter is that there are a couple of things I'd like to try out, I've found a pretty good way to put them both together, and there's not really a snowball's chance in hell that the public will ever see it anyway.
That last bit I have to keep telling myself so that I don't freeze up. If things work out, yeah, it might make it past my apartment. The important thing for this one really is the process, though, so it really doesn't matter in the end if I'm the only person who ever lays eyes on it.
She says.
And mostly believes, I guess.
Anyway, that's where things stand. You'll get an update if there is one. For now, though, I think that I need to stop typing. The neck/shoulder thing has gotten much better, but it's obvious to me at the moment that it's still not great.
Catch you later, then.
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