Pineapple

Today's pointless photo isn't of pineapple. It is, however, about some serious eating that occurs on the currant leaves every year.

But currants aren't pineapples, and I want to talk pineapples.

I tried something new for lunch today, and I found out that I'm capable of making a much better homemade pizza roll than any frozen pizza pop you'll find anywhere. Ancient grains tortilla, mozzarella, a bit of old cheddar, romano, pizza sauce, pepperoni, some leftover smoked sausage, crushed chili flakes, and pineapple. It even nuked surprisingly well, although I probably would have baked it at home.

I lost some of you at the pineapple, didn't I?

There seems to be this thing lately that pineapple doesn't belong on a pizza. I mean, I understand that some people just plain don't like pineapple. I'm sorry for you, but being a just-don't-like-green-pepper person myself, I understand dislikes. There are plenty of people out there, though, who admit to liking pineapple on anything but pizza. I have one thing to say to those people.

You're doing it wrong.

The antipineapplers are probably thinking of your typical ham and pineapple Hawaiian, and that's completely the wrong way to have pineapple on a pizza. It's bland. Even with really good, flavourful ham, ham and pineapple make a bland, boring pizza that should be left to the kids. No, for a successful pineapple pizza you need to think more adult.

You need some heat.

You'll notice in my ingredients list up there that there's a lack of ham. What there is instead is a spicy sausage and what was, frankly, a pretty decent dose of red chili flakes. Chili in some form is essential for pineapple pizza. Even when we have ham and pineapple pizza at home, I need to put chili flakes on it to make it right.

Sweet and heat. Makes sense, right? And you find it in an awful lot of things.

Why not pizza?

So, I guess my suggestion for any pineapple-indifferent pizza eaters out there who are forced, for whatever reason, to dig into the old Hawaiian standard is: find a way to fit in the heat. Instead of ham and pineapple, maybe suggest pepperoni and pineapple. Or buffalo chicken and pineapple. Or... hey, maybe banana peppers on top. I've never tried that, but it might be good. If the rest of the group doesn't want anything hot, at least reach for the chili flake shaker. I promise that it makes a world of difference. Who knows, you might even warm to it.

Warm to the heat, get it?



Oh, shush. I'm tired.

Back to work for a little now before I start my not-so-long weekend since I work on Monday. Happy long weekend to the rest of you; for those in the flooded areas, stay safe and away from the rivers. Soggy banks should never be tourist attractions.