Stupid algorithm games

In my sillier moments I sometimes like to head to commercial websites that I've previously ordered from that offer lists of recommendations, just because I get a kick out of what pops up from the weird things I tend to buy.

For example, Amazon has yet to figure out what the heck I like. It tries really hard, though. Really, really hard.

Hard enough that it's funny. To me, anyway.

See, I have interests in some fairly odd (and not necessarily complementary) areas, and it completely messes with Amazon's Hey! You're gonna LOVE this! algorithm. Order something on Ancient Rome? Well, hey. That must mean you want everything in our catalogue that mentions Rome. Or ancient. But what if you've also ordered silly British television shows on DVD, natural history stuff for work, a couple of classic novels, a couple of not-so-classic novels, an art book, several philosophy books, a poetry survey, a history of language, the last few seasons of a television drama, and a Moleskine sketchbook in the past little while (or past few years. I'm not THAT heavy a book buyer)? Then that must mean you want...

Um...

Gimme a sec here...





*sound of Hey! You're gonna LOVE this! algorithm's brain breaking*

The result is a desperate selection of what-the-h-e-double-hockey-sticks that is endlessly entertaining.

To me. But then maybe I'm easily entertained.

Click not interested on a few items, refresh the list, and up pops even MORE confusion. But I thought you said you liked... everyone else who ordered that liked... but... huh? Oh... I don't know. Maybe you'd like the full, unabridged boxed set of all twenty seasons of Gunsmoke?

Not interested.

*sound of Hey! You're gonna LOVE this! algorithm crying*

Things become even more fun when the thing starts thinking -- sorry, "thinking" -- that it knows what I want based on one recent purchase. A while ago I bought a cheap copy of Slaughterhouse-Five because I like Vonnegut but had somehow never gotten around to reading that one. Well. After that, the recommendations list went absolutely wild. You like Vonnegut? Then you're definitely going to want everything by him. And by Kesey and Heller and Burroughs and Thompson and Kerouac and...

Not interested.

*sound of Hey! You're gonna LOVE this! algorithm screaming in frustration*

To be fair, I do try to teach the thing (for the benefit of other shoppers, you understand). One day, come hell or high water, I'm going to get it to understand that the fact that Ive ordered a couple of Moleskine products does not mean that I want Every. Single. Product. In. The. Moleskine. Line-up...

One day. So far no luck. Those pesky Moleskines seem to keep popping up no matter what I do, though. Maybe it's the Hey! You're gonna LOVE this! algorithm's last bastion of hope or something.

Now, all of this was just using the behemoth that is Amazon by way of example. Other sites' recommendation lists tend not to offer quite that level of amusement, but that may just be because I haven't ordered enough to eff up the Hey! You're gonna LOVE this! algorithm in other places. Or maybe it's just that a smaller inventory means that you're less likely to get weird suggestions.

That could be.





Do you think that it's a problem that I've even given this sort of thing any thought? It might be.

Maybe I should look at finding another hobby...