Bear's Tail

Originally posted to Shrubbery, 3 Sept 2003

A long time ago before bears slept through the winter, Bear had an amazing, soft, silky tail. His tail was his pride and joy and he spent a great deal of time grooming it and arranging the hair juuuust right. Bear admired his tail and he thought that everyone else should have to admire it too. Any time animals passed him in the forest Bear would make them stop and tell him how wonderful his tail was... and they did, since Bear was so much bigger than everyone else.

It didn't take long before the other animals were all tired of Bear and his wonderful tail, so they went to Fox and asked him if he could find a way to teach Bear a lesson. Fox agreed, but since he wanted his plan to be perfect he said he'd have to think about it for a while.

Fox thought for the whole spring and the whole summer and the whole fall, and with winter coming on he decided he finally had the perfect way to humble Bear.

Bear's favourite food in the whole world was fish, but in the wintertime when the lakes and rivers froze over fish became very hard to find. Bear was starting to think that he'd give anything for just one good, fresh fish when he noticed Fox walking back to the foxhole with a gigantic fish in his mouth. Bear didn't know that Fox had stolen the fish from an icefisherman's cabin -- all he knew was that Fox had somehow found a fish in the frozen water.

Bear watched as Fox left the den and headed back towards the lake. Fox soon returned with an even bigger fish in his mouth. Bear's stomach started growling at the thought. He watched Fox go back to the lake a third time and return with an even bigger fish -- so big that Fox could hardly drag it. This was too much for hungry Bear.

"Fox," called Bear, "How are you finding fish in this cold weather? I haven't seen a fish in ever so long, and here you are with three fine fishes, one after another."

Fox looked surprised. "You don't know how to fish in the frozen water? You, with your fine tail? My tail's nothing beside yours, but it still gets me fish."

Fishing with a tail? Bear had never heard of such a thing. "How can my tail get me fish, Fox? I'm ever so hungry... I'm dying for a big, fat fish."

Fox smiled and agreed to show Bear how to fish. They went down to the frozen lake, and Fox dug Bear a small hole in the ice. "Sit down here with your tail in the hole, and the fish will grab on to it. You must sit very still and very quietly, though, or the fish will be scared away and you'll still be hungry."

Fox sat a little ways away and watched Bear as he sat on the ice. Bear was licking his lips, thinking of the fat fish his fine tail would catch him. After a while, though, he got tired of sitting. "Fox," he said, "I don't think I'm doing this right. I don't feel any fish, and my tail's getting chilly." Fox just smiled and told him to keep still. It takes patience to fish with a tail.

Bear sat on the ice a while longer, but pretty soon his tail was numb from the cold water. "Fox," he said, "I don't think I'm doing this right. I can hardly feel my tail -- how will I feel the fish biting?" Fox just smiled and told him to keep still. It might take a while for the fish to get used to his tail.

Bear sat for a really long time, but after a while he got worried that he couldn't feel his tail at all. "Fox," he cried, "I don't think my tail works for fishing. I want to go home."

But there was no answer. Fox had wisely moved into the shadows, because he had a good idea of what might happen next.

Bear suddenly felt alone, scared, and very cold. He said, "ok then, I'll try this another day but I'm going home now," and went to stand up. He couldn't budge. Oh no! He'd been sitting so long that he'd frozen right in the ice!

Bear was really scared by now. He pulled and he pulled, but he just couldn't move. It was starting to get dark and Bear was in a panic. He thought he heard strange noises from the lake. He frantically pulled and pulled at the ice until crack! pop! he got himself free and ran back to the forest... leaving his fine tail stuck right there in the ice and Fox snickering after him from the shadows.

And they say that from that day to this no bear bothers with having a fine tail, and they stay sleeping in their homes all winter long rather than worrying about how hungry they are... and I think you'll find that no bear in the world ever tries to fish with his bum.