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So here's the thing. I'm taking a topic that's probably better for the other blog and putting it here instead because I feel like blathering about it a bit: I did a painting for the staff show at work this year. You can find it here. You know, if you actually want to. Shall I explain the diffidence about it that you might be feeling from me right about now?
Well...
I don't paint. Or, obviously, I did paint that particular... um... thing?... but normally I don't paint.
I don't know how to paint, you see.
I know how to draw. They don't always come out exactly the way I want them to, my drawings, but I know the basic techniques when it comes to graphite and pens, and I can usually figure out the non-basic things as I go since I've been doing it for a while now (not so very long publicly -- it took some doing for me to be brave enough to share my doodles -- but for years for my own pleasure). I'm reasonably comfortable with drawing.
But painting?
Gah. I don't know how to paint.
Part of it is that for a long time I wasn't the slightest bit interested in painting. I'm pretty tactile when it comes to my artsy endeavours, usually. I like the feel of paper (and if I don't like the feel of paper it's not going to be used. Witness my highly-neglected field sketchbook and it's very, very boring paper that I just can't get into). I like the feel of smudging graphite. It took me a little while to grow fond of sketching with pen simply because it's not as all-fingers-in as graphite can be (or is for me. I'm a total mess by the time I've finished a graphite sketch. It's a good thing, though), but it's still an immediate contact with the surface. Painting? Well, for whatever reason the idea of working with a brush has always seemed a remove from the immediacy of pencil or pen. It puts you at a distance, doesn't it? That, and you lose some of the control you have when you're working closer to the surface.
Yeah. Is it too obvious that I have the brush skills of a five-year-old?
The other part of this I don't know how to paint mentality is that I've never been taught. I had one whole art course in school before science took over my academic life, and in that course we learned drawing basics and a little sculpting (thus my fondness for Play-doh? Maybe. You can find the evidence on the other blog, at any rate), but no painting. Painting would have been introduced second year, if I had taken it.
What did I take instead? Hmm. It was junior high and there wouldn't have been more than one science course at the time, so I guess maybe science wasn't to blame after all. I took... um... let's see. Oh, drama. That was it. And Outdoor Ed, which consisted mostly of doing the Alberta Hunter Education course. Doesn't sound much like me, I know, but the course had, amongst other things, sections on IDing animals in the wild, so it's had some unexpectedly lasting value.
Now, I know that there are a heckuva lot of self-taught painters out there. And I also know that, since I already have a decent feel for form and shape, I could probably get my head around creating the illusion of it with paint rather than pen. I also have a couple of reference books that have decent pointers about techniques that I might not be able to guess on my own. But still. I'm so, so not comfortable with the whole shift.
Painting. How does a person paint, anyway?
You might be wondering about now why I'd even be thinking about painting if I'm not terribly comfortable with the idea. Well... a couple of things happened in the last year or two to make me think that it might be time to play around with paints a little more. One was a gift card for art supplies, and I have a habit of trying to buy something different than I normally would when I have gift cards. The way I see it, if I'd been given the gift directly it might be something on the unusual side, so when I'm using someone else's money to buy myself a gift I try to think outside my usual. That's how I ended up with a set of actual artist-quality watercolours a few years ago, that's how I ended up with some non-sketching paper last year, and this year? I'm thinking maybe acrylics.
Yes, I'm seriously thinking about real, not-totally-cheap (which is all I have now) acrylic paints.
And probably a few canvasses too.
What on earth am I getting myself into?
I... dunno...
Oh, sorry. Lost my train of thought for a moment. Where was I? Oh yeah. One of the other things that happened to make me start thinking about painting is that I got into doing some mixed media journalling this year. Mostly it's just me making a therapeutic mess, but I can't deny that it's given me the chance to get a feel for different media used in unusual ways. It's also made me think more about building texture with things like gesso instead of just depending on the paper's texture to turn me on.
I've been having more fun with gesso than anyone should be allowed to, by the way. Aaand I'll have to remember to put gesso on the list when I'm spending this year's gift card, because it seems to me I'm almost out.
Anyway. It's going to be a few days before I have a chance to hit the art store, so I suppose we'll see what kind of mood I'm in by then. I have had my eye on a nifty set of soluble pencils (that almost counts as painting, right? I do use a brush on them), so we'll have to see whether comfort or adventure wins out. Either way, I definitely win. New toys? Always a good thing in my book.
Stay tuned to the other blog in the next weeks for the results of this dilemma.
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