Friday 11 March 2011

Armed. Ish.

Seems even more pointless than usual to blather on with all the sad news about the earthquake and tsunami coming out of Japan, but blather is what I do here so I suppose that's what's bound to happen. Just know that I'm well aware of how pointless this place is.

Especially on a day like today.

Yep.

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You may not know it, but I carry a concealed weapon on a regular basis.

Yeah, I'm that dangerous.

I am...

A pocket knife user.

No, really. I have a knife somewhere on me (generally in my pocket. Thus the name pocket knife, I guess) almost any time that I'm fully dressed. It's a long time habit, really. My current knife is a Victorinox (which I've apparently had long enough now that they don't make that particular model anymore. Or at least I couldn't find it on the website. It's not one of the so-many-tools-it's-unusable models, anyway. You know, if you were curious) that my parents gave me years ago when my old Barlow finally bit the dust.

And why do I carry a knife?

Well, because it's useful, of course.

When I was a kid I carried a knife mostly because it was cool that I was allowed to carry a knife, I think. At first I hardly ever used it. I was scared to. And rightly so, really -- I'm very much the picture of left-handed and accident-prone, so using a pocket knife was probably not the smartest thing back then. I did a tiny bit of whittling at one time because my dad could and I thought I might like to as well, but that was about it.

It wasn't until I got older that I discovered that a knife was more than just a neat thing to carry around. I'm not sure if my two fans know this, but a knife is, in fact, a tool. And tools can come in handy. I suppose that the knife really became a regular companion when I was doing fieldwork in university. You'd be surprised how often you find yourself needing to cut things when you're out in the field. And you'd also be surprised to find out how many people depend on your knife when they find out that you're a knife-carrying type. Hey Dee? Got your knife handy? Why yes, yes I do. Just call me the class toolbox.

Nowadays? Well, I'm a naturalist. That should about say it all. And if it doesn't, just believe me when I say that it's handy to be able to cut things without running back to the office all the time.

But isn't using a knife all the time dangerous? Well, it would be if I used the knife all the time, but I don't. Sometimes I use the scissors instead. Sometimes I use the screwdrivers (usually if I have to, say, drive a screw). Sometimes I use the corkscrew if for some reason we're drinking at the office (JOKE. We don't drink at the office. Usually). Sometimes I use the awl to make holes. Sometimes I use the knife blade and cut myself.

Hey, I never said I stopped being a left-handed accident-prone wonder. And I have the scars to prove it, believe me.

So there you have it. Me, armed and dangerous. To myself.

I just realised that I've never actually given my knife a name. Inexcusable, considering how much of a companion he seems to be. What do you think? Sweeney Todd, maybe?





I'll think about it.

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Looks like I'll be taking the weekend off from the computer, so unless pigs fly the Ontario office has something to say the blog will be blatherless for a couple of days.

You're all used to that by now, though, so I can't say I feel too guilty.

Or guilty at all, really. It's just blather, after all.

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