Things men will just never understand

More lilacs from last year. I like lilacs... but not indoors. Why do people insist on bringing heavily perfumed things indoors when they're so much better out in the garden?

Anyway. Men.

Or actually, just a woman thing. Or things, depending on how much I feel like typing.

I like men. I have a lot of respect for men. They're not generally the evil creatures you'd think they were if your only knowledge of men was from the daytime talk shows. However, there are many things in this world that men just will simply not understand.

Like why I was a little bit later to work today than I was planning to be (my two fans have probably gathered by now that my work hours are pretty flexible. I like that, and I'd miss it if I left). I was late because of a bra emergency.

Yes, a bra emergency.

Just as I was getting ready to leave, one of my underwires (hmm. Is the fact that underwire isn't in the spellcheck's dictionary proof that the dictionary wasn't compiled by a woman? Probably not, but it was an interesting coincidence) poked through the top of the bra, and since I'm a little low on bras at the moment and haven't had the chance to do laundry in a while I had no other choice but to take it off and do a quick sewing job (quick enough that I didn't even take off the green thread that was already on the needle. Sigh) before I left.

So. Things in that paragraph that your average man would probably have a little bit of trouble understanding? Let's see:

• running low on bras
• underwires
• underwire burstage
• emergency sew-job instead of just taking another bra out of the laundry
• being late because of underwear

 I'll admit that some of it does sound a little weird now that I've typed it out, but still. If I told the story to just about any woman she'd have a pretty good idea of how my morning went. A guy? Well, a lot of them (not all of them. Not painting anyone with the same brush here) probably wouldn't get the engineering of chest suspension. Some of them wouldn't catch on that you can't just turn a bra inside out and wear it for another day. And none of them would have a clue about the frustrations of the finite life of bras.

I really hate that part.

Boys, did you know that the average bra is only meant to last three to six months? And do you know how much we pay for the blasted things? Wouldn't you be more than a little ticked if your underoos (sorry, couldn't help myself. And I hope that most of you aren't wearing underoos anymore) stretched to the point of unwearability in three to six months because they couldn't handle the weight of your testicles?

Um... granted, those would be SOME testicles.

Ah well. Hopefully this morning's patch job will help the current bra last out its predicted life span. At least it was only a poke-through and not the dreaded underwire snap (which... hands up if you've had that one happen at work. Fun, isn't it? The sudden one-sided sag. Talk about things men couldn't understand), so the bra should be wearable for a while yet.

And in the meantime I guess I need to go shopping.




Men, believe it or not there are some types of shopping that I as a woman really don't look forward to.

Shocking, I know.