Owning it

The pointless photo? Variation on a theme, I guess. Either that, or I liked the shape.

We're going to have to talk about shapes and patterns sometime on this new blog, aren't we? Yeah, probably. Another day, though.

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There's been a song rolling through my head for a day or so. A song about, erm, cocaine use... but that's not why it's become an earworm. For anyone who followed the link I just added, it's the last line that grabs me. This was a choice, this was never a mistake.

There's a lot in that line, don't you think? Taken out of context (which my brain insists upon doing), there's even more to it. Ownership, you see.

Or maybe you don't. I'm currently being interrupted (in a good way, but still) just about every two minutes by something or other, so it's very possible that I'm being as clear as a solid brass doorknob.

That, by the way, is different from the balls of a brass monkey.





Anyway.

What gets me about the line is that it's a pretty audacious and secure thing to be able to stand up and admit that things in your life are by choice and not by accident or mistake. It's not so easy to take ownership of where you are and how you got there.

Take me, for example.

I'm in a job that I never planned to be in. Back when I was fresh out of school and looking for work, there were no jobs at all in the area I was trained in.

And what area was that, Dee?

That'd be a great big none-of-your-business.

I ended up blanketing the world in general in applications. That produced a phone call from a nature centre that I hadn't even actually heard of (my name got forwarded to them from someone else I'd sent a resumé to), and caused me to fall into a job.

A completely unexpected job.

A job that I'm still doing, mumblemumble years later. Sometimes happily; sometimes not. Granted, things have changed and evolved over the vaaast time I've spent in this unexpected job, but the fact remains that I never especially wanted to be here in the first place.

Pretty hard to own that one, don't you think?

Sure... until you remember the part where I've been here for years. Obviously something other than laziness or, hell, inertia is to blame for my still being here. I've had other jobs. I've even had other jobs while I've been working here (you have to do something in the slow season). I'm still here.

I must... fit. Or whatever.

But all this was only by way of example. We all have things in our lives that may seem like accidents, or less than ideal, or completely impossible for outsiders to understand. We all, also, can be pretty quick to blame circumstance or fate for putting us where we are.

It ain't necessarily so, folks.

Almost anything in our lives can be changed (at least a little) if we want change. If we don't want change, then there's probably a reason for it. Call it comfort, call it belonging, call it fit, call it Norman if you want to. Doesn't matter. What does matter is that if something is the way it is because that's what we want it to be, then we should own up to it.

Own it.

Who knows? Once you look at your life and realise that you've really owned where you are and where you belong, you may even find that it makes you happy.

Nothing wrong with admitting that you've found your place, if that's what you discover.

This was a choice, this was never a mistake.






However... bear in mind, Wheat, that this doesn't mean I won't still quit if I decided to own a different choice. Just saying.

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