And this is the way the world ends

If the post title has sent you straight to T.S Eliot... well, sorry. It was just the first phase that came to mind, that's all. And for those who have absolutely no idea what I mean right now, go and have a read of this. Remember to come back here afterwards, though.

Done?

Ok, now forget about it because it has absolutely nothing to do with today's blather.

What the blather does have to do with is the fact that I did something the other day that I would normally never do. I stepped outside of my comfort zone by becoming a little less invisible than I usually like to be.

I submitted a doodle to Illustration Friday.

I know, no big deal. Hundreds of people submit links to that site every week. And it's not like I stood up and signed my name to the thing. I used my regular nom-de-internet to hide behind, as you might expect. Why should a semi-anonymous submission to a very busy website be throwing me for a loop like it is?

Well, for one thing it's very unlike me to want anyone to notice my doodles. My doodles are just that. Doodles. For me. I have no intention of ever going any farther with them, and I generally don't share them beyond putting them on a seldom-visited blog that I use as my general artsy dumping ground.

Hell, I don't even sign the things. The little swirly squiggle you see (if you bother to look, which... whatever. Look if you want to. It seriously doesn't much matter to me) is just my initials. That's all I've ever felt like putting on a doodle.

I'm such a slave for attention, you know.

In fact (to take a slight side-jaunt here), I'm extremely uncomfortable that they chose to put my name on some interpretive panels I did that are on show at work for the next little while. Those were meant to be a nature centre display, not a silly doodles by Yours Blatheringly display. Augh. The whole thing makes me cringe.

Anyway.

The other reason this whole Illustration Friday thing has set me off is that people actually came to look at my doodle. Lots of people. Some of them even took the time to comment (which... thanks.). And...

I liked it.

I liked the fact that other people came to see what I did, even if it was only for a few seconds.

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?

I can't even begin to explain how much not-me that reaction is. I like being off to the side. Even during all the years of perform and competing I was thrilled to have the lines or the character or even just the music to hide behind. I never, never, never look to be the one on the pedestal.

Sigh.

What next, do you think? Will I actually sign a sketch? Will I call it a sketch rather than a doodle? Will I submit another link to Illustration Friday?

Well, to that last one at least I can say: probably. It was fun. And really, it's not like it's the end of the world to be ever-so-slightly noticed once in a while.







Or is it?
*cue Twilight Zone music*